photos

I finally got around to adding more photos to my flickr.com page, as promised. The newest sets are "February 2009," "Ireland," "March-April 2009" and "April-May 2009." Again, I highly recommend clicking on the sets along the right-hand side of the page, rather than searching through the terribly disorganized photostream. Here are some links directly to the sets, in case the hyperlinks don´t work:

February 09: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30265955@N07/sets/72157618480224638/

Ireland: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30265955@N07/sets/72157618394758777/

March-April 2009: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30265955@N07/sets/72157618486656922/

April-May 2009: http://www.flickr.com/photos/30265955@N07/sets/72157618489581424/


I warn you in advance, I got a leeetle bit crazy taking photos out in the Raps (canola) fields, and had no idea how to choose which ones to delete out of dozens and dozens of yellow blossomy photographs. Sorry about that... sometimes I go a bit overboard, don´t I?

Enjoy!

to the sea, to the sea!

Just so you don´t worry that I´ve dropped off the planet for the next few days, I thought I´d let you know that my host family and I made the decision on a whim yesterday to go to the East Sea tomorrow. Apparently Germans "celebrate" Ascension day, and school and businesses will be closed for the next couple days, giving us a nice long weekend. Claudia´s aunt and uncle have a nice little cabin on the shore, so we´ll be making the drive tomorrow morning, splash in the water for a few days, and hopefully return by Sunday. I am thrilled about this surprise holiday! I have been kind of disappointed that I haven´t been exploring more parts of Germany, and am excited to see some new sides of the country. And that sea breeze has definitely been calling me as the weather warms...

Wish me sunshine!

big day

Today my baby sister graduates. Obviously I am broken hearted that I am the only sibling absent on this momentous day. I would give nearly anything to be there right now. In fact, she´ll be crossing that stage in less than 2 hours... but I can´t dwell in this too long or I´ll get unnecessarily sad and I´ve been punishing myself enough lately. It warms my heart, still, to imagine everyone together right now at the farm, excited making their plans for the big day, the reception, and everything that comes with high school graduations. I expect to see some photos soon, my family! Greta, I am so proud of you and of your post-school plans. You put me to shame, lovely girl. This one is going to be doing some amazing things with her life (and already has), just wait and see. Not a shred of doubt in my mind.

Next week is the Bethel graduation. Most of my old mod is reuniting that weekend, which also makes me happy. I have a framed photo of my beloved 7B/9C birds on my desk, and sometimes I am astounded at how lucky I have been to have such quality women in my life. We write each other mass-messages every now and again (thank you internet), and I can´t express how much comfort our continuing correspondence brings me. While our days of mod paradise are over, our impact on each others´ lives certainly has not and will not be ended. In fact, in many regards I feel it has just begun. I am still really hoping to find a job in the Lawrence/KC area so I can live closer to some - perhaps even share a house or flat.

On that topic, I´m still fervently searching for a job - any job really - for my return in August. I´m still clinging to hopes that I can find an art/gallery/museum/theater sort of gig, but realize within the current economy this could be unattainable for now. I´m still trying to sort out how to broaden my search, both in type and location. I´ve applied for positions now not just in the KC area, but Omaha, Lincoln, Wichita, Hutchinson, Independence, St. Louis, and even Newport (though this one was mostly just to boost my self-esteem and stay in practice applying for high-end gallery jobs!). I´m also open to the idea that if I can´t find anything that feels right, I can continue my search after August and work temporarily at a fast food joint or supermarket. I keep swinging back and forth between the extremes of having VERY high hopes of finding something incredibly challenging and stimulating, pertaining to my degrees and qualifications, and the other part of me which throws up my hands without a care at all - being content in the thought of a low-stress simple job, just something to sustain myself and be somewhat productive. We´ll soon see. Wish me luck!

This has been a bit of a stressful week for me, and the rainy weather is kind of getting old. BUT, I do have good news about my garden snail dilemma (I know you´ve all been losing sleep over this, right?)! :) After losing a few precious plants to the malicious and greedy slugs and snails, I decided to follow the advice from a good friend (who happens to work as a gardener) and take some action beyond my failed collect-and-destroy method. Yesterday I sat and built some traps using old plastic laundry bottles, cutting holes in the sides for the snails to climb up into, and pouring in the secret bait. Apparently snails LOVE beer, which is lucky because I have several packs of Becks left from my host family´s garden party that I´ve been meaning to get rid of somehow. So I set 2 traps on each side of my garden last night, and found dozens of little drunkards floating in their beer graves this morning! I know they´re cute and all, but I never thought I could be so rejoiced to find those little corpses. My garden is saved! I still had to spend a few minutes collecting some of the resistant snails who decided to abstain from drinking last night, but it definitely made the job much easier than normal. I might build a couple more traps to see if it helps, but am a bit worried about what will happen when I run out of beer bait in a couple weeks. Could get expensive.

In other matters, I´ve been finding ways to practice my German more lately, which has been nice and is feeling a bit more natural to me now. We´ve been practicing for the exam (which I´m not taking) in class, and on Wednesday my teacher actually complimented me on a successful conversation I had to make in front of the whole class - intimidating but kind of satisfying to have survived despite the pressure. To celebrate I went out to the Irish pub (I know I should be experiencing German places, but the atmosphere is so relaxed and it has become a friendly local haunt of mine) with my classmate-friend Kristin. It is a nice quiet, chill place and every once in a while it is nice to go somewhere where we feel like we don´t have to justify ourselves, nor be embarrassed to speak English with each other. The owner, Harry, is a crass old man from Scotland who now knows me by name, tells me stories about Scotland and wars, and is trying to convince me to learn to play poker and darts. :) We chatted with a sailor from New Zealand, and an old couple from Norway (with whom Kristin could speak fluently as I listened with amusement and wonder at the beautiful and bizarre language). Somehow we were bribed to come back this weekend for karaoke, and enjoyed conversation with some German sailors last night amidst the karaoke wails. To my mortification, Harry called me up to sing - and with the whole room in quiet anticipation I had very little choice in the matter. Under pressure and without my safe Nancy Sinatra karaoke album, I quickly picked a simple Simon and Garfunkel tune and surprisingly had a lot of fun. The crowd, as usual, consisted of lots of men and women in their 60-70s, and a few sailors and card sharks, so there wasn´t any pressure or pretension. Later I was called up (again against my will) and the song was already playing - some Elvis song that I had never heard in my life! Somehow I improvised through it, and fortunately the came time for my train back to Bordesholm before I could be tricked into singing again. Despite being slightly mortified, we had a nice time and I think we might try doing karaoke more often now. But it does make me miss my karaoke nights at the Eagles lodge in Newton with Jacob, Kristin, modmates, and occasional Bethel faculty friends... :)

This week with the children has been nice. Wednesday afternoon Emma Sophie and I rode our bikes to a little beach at the Bordesholm lake. Even though the water is still freezing, we brought our swimsuits and waded in the water, splashed at ducks, and built sand fortresses. As both of the children now have Wednesdays free, I hope to start making lake trips part of our weekly routine. For some reason Friday Emmi was overwhelmingly sweet and curious. She started the morning with the blunt question "Kate-chen, why do all people have to die?" to which I hesitated and responded awkwardly with something about needing to make enough space for all the new babies who are born, so we don´t run out of resources and such. Then luckily the conversation shifted as she didn´t know the word "resources" and I focused on explaining what the term means. I thought I was off the hook, and then a few minutes later after brushing our teeth she absently patted my foot and asked "Kate-chen, why do I love you so much?" To this I had no answer at all, choking back a lump in the throat and gave the girl a delighted squeeze. I then taught her the phrase "peas in a pod," which she loved of course after all of our memorable table discussions about "shivering peas." Naturally, later that day she screamed fiery protests at me for not letting her eat more candy, claiming she hated me and threw an hour-long tantrum making a mess of her room. Oh these children... my biggest anxiety and greatest warmth.

I noticed on the train today that our raps (canola) fields are losing their vibrancy now. Last week I took a spectacular bike ride through some country paths, and was blown away by the beautiful yellow fields all around me. I still stick by my claim that nothing is more stunning than a golden Kansas wheat or crimson milo field just before harvest, but... this comes pretty close! The only thing I don´t like about the raps fields is the fact that we have to watch the blossoms die and colors fade back to green again before they are harvested.

Ugh, I´ve made a painfully long post again. I´ll never get better at this, will I? Sorry about that. I have goals to finally post more photos on my flickr page this week - be patient with me please. More Ireland and Spring photos to come soon!

Mother´s Day Proclamation

I found this genuine call for alliance and settlement to be quite timely. I don´t necessarily believe that we should or must completely disarm today as suggested here by Julia Ward Howe - as ideal as that sounds sometimes, it would likely create even more chaos. But sometimes I find myself getting so absorbed by the details, politics, and process of war that I forget the essence of the conflicts, and the solemn reality that it is not only our own sons and daughters paying the ultimate price, but those of other nations as well - and perhaps not always willingly by the choice of patriotic and honorable defense, as ours have the freedom to make. That being said, this isn´t a blog post intended to debate the pros and cons of disarmament. I would probably fail miserably in such a conversation, as I so often feel myself torn in many different directions when it comes to war and peace. But I just found the history of this proclamation interesting, and the words created some significant food for thought. The following is a quick history lesson on Mother´s Day, followed by the empowering challenge of our Julia Ward Howe:

The first North American Mother’s Day was conceptualized with Julia Ward Howe´s Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870. Despite having penned The Battle Hymn of the Republic 12 years earlier, Howe had become so distraught by the death and carnage of the Civil War that she called on Mothers to come together and protest what she saw as the futility of their Sons killing the Sons of other Mothers. With the following, she called for an international Mother's Day celebrating peace and motherhood:

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears
Say firmly:

"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not come to us reeking of carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of
charity, mercy and patience.

"We women of one country
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says, "Disarm, Disarm!"
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice!
Blood does not wipe out dishonor
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have of ten forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war.

Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions.
The great and general interests of peace.


For our Mothers, Fathers, Sons, and Daughters everywhere, let it be so.

unorthodox punk

Today at my train platform in Bordesholm I was surrounded as usual by a group of local punks. Against my beliefs that people can be inherently good despite their actions and appearances, I´ve grown to despise these kids - they seem to be everywhere in northern Germany! They all seem to share the same wardrobe of tight black and white hoodies, chuck taylors, and wear their hair and piercings (all intended to be totally original) basically in similar variations and color patterns of each other, standing around shouting obnoxious trendy slang, sharing cigarettes stolen from their older siblings. They linger at every bank, every corner, by pay phones, waste mills, you can´t escape them. They even taint my favorite little ice cream and coffee shop. I gave up long ago on trying not to judge, and have formed a bitter bubble around myself while we wait at the station every Monday and Wednesday in an effort to avoid any encounters. On this occasion, I happened to be standing behind such a kid who was telling his friend something seemingly vulgar. As we waited for the train to pull up, I inspected his ridiculously intricate shaving designs along the buzzed sides of his color-striped hair. I laughed to myself smugly, wondering what more this punk could possibly to do conform to his comrades. The train doors opened, and a woman struggled to exit with her massive grandchild´s baby buggy. Without stopping his vulgar conversation, the kid thoughtlessly stepped up and lowered the buggy down with ease, much to the warm thanks of the older woman. As we climbed the steps, I noticed the conversation shift as his friend started to mock him for being a "softie - mama´s boy" and such. I didn´t break my now-concrete instinct to part ways from the young crowd (let´s be realistic now) and quickly found peace in a quiet seat on the other side of the train, but will admit that I wish I know how that conversation had ended. Anyways, if nothing else it just helped to soften my bitter judgment of our local Bordesholm youth. Maybe they aren´t all so bad.

On this same train I found an abandoned purse. Remembering my own wallet disaster on this very same train, and our eventual reunion (even though there was only one cent left when I finally got it back!), it felt nice to be able to take this purse under wing and safely deliver it to the information booth in Kiel. Sort of a way to pay back the mysterious kind soul who returned my own wallet last month. Maybe "pay it forward" works after all - who knows. Why not humor idealism for a bit? :)

After a shamelessly lazy weekend, my Monday began with a bit of a whirlwind. I stayed up ridiculously late last night with the intention of napping while the children were in school today. Of course, today Emmi woke with a sore neck and Claudia told me to keep her home from Kindergarten... no nap for me today, should have known better. Mondays are very long to begin with, as I leave directly from shuttling Paul Luis to chess lessons in the afternoon for my train (no matter how well I plan ahead I always end up sprinting to catch this train!) to the community German night class in Kiel. By the time I get back to Bordesholm, it is dark and the day is over. As usual, though, I expect the week to fly and I´ll have another lazy weekend at my disposal soon enough. I did make an attempt last weekend to be a bit more social, and had fun going dancing with my Swedish friend Kristin at a club that is built like an old ship. But for some reason I really have very little desire to get out with friends lately. I´ve been at my happiest simply riding my bike alone, taking walks, painting and sketching, working in the garden, reading new books, "knitting" (I get to about 8 rows and start over again with no direction, as it is too warm to make scarves and I don´t really know how to make anything else, nor do I have the initiative to try to learn complicated new stitches). I am so ancient, but for some reason I need this right now. It will probably pass soon enough as I get restless, but I´ll admit that it feels good to try to save a bit of money and have time to sort of be "inside" of my self for the time being.

Friday my host parents threw a big neighborhood Maifest garden party to celebrate the start of the new month and changing season. Around 30-40 people arrived, mostly their friends and children. I actually knew some of the parents of the children better than Claudia and Torsten! The setting led to some kind of awkward small talk attempts on my part, and I busied myself with keeping wood on the fires and cooking rosemary potatoes. I was relieved when the grandfather, Opa Lothar arrived. He also felt out of place, I think, and joined me by the fire. After a while he shared war stories and some of his tragic family history (all in German, and I actually understood everything - for some reason Opa is easier for me to understand than the others, and is more patient with me when I do struggle), and we bonded. He revisited their old family farm in Poland last year, from which his family was evicted during the war when he was a child, and promised me to show me some photos if I pay him a visit for coffee soon. I´m actually really excited about this, and realized how much I really miss special visits to my own grandparents - flipping through old family photos and listening to stories over coffee and cake.

Well now, I should bring this to a close. Sorry this post is kind of unimpressive and not well pieced together. I´ll try to improve next time - maybe finally with photos?

All the best.