big day

Today my baby sister graduates. Obviously I am broken hearted that I am the only sibling absent on this momentous day. I would give nearly anything to be there right now. In fact, she´ll be crossing that stage in less than 2 hours... but I can´t dwell in this too long or I´ll get unnecessarily sad and I´ve been punishing myself enough lately. It warms my heart, still, to imagine everyone together right now at the farm, excited making their plans for the big day, the reception, and everything that comes with high school graduations. I expect to see some photos soon, my family! Greta, I am so proud of you and of your post-school plans. You put me to shame, lovely girl. This one is going to be doing some amazing things with her life (and already has), just wait and see. Not a shred of doubt in my mind.

Next week is the Bethel graduation. Most of my old mod is reuniting that weekend, which also makes me happy. I have a framed photo of my beloved 7B/9C birds on my desk, and sometimes I am astounded at how lucky I have been to have such quality women in my life. We write each other mass-messages every now and again (thank you internet), and I can´t express how much comfort our continuing correspondence brings me. While our days of mod paradise are over, our impact on each others´ lives certainly has not and will not be ended. In fact, in many regards I feel it has just begun. I am still really hoping to find a job in the Lawrence/KC area so I can live closer to some - perhaps even share a house or flat.

On that topic, I´m still fervently searching for a job - any job really - for my return in August. I´m still clinging to hopes that I can find an art/gallery/museum/theater sort of gig, but realize within the current economy this could be unattainable for now. I´m still trying to sort out how to broaden my search, both in type and location. I´ve applied for positions now not just in the KC area, but Omaha, Lincoln, Wichita, Hutchinson, Independence, St. Louis, and even Newport (though this one was mostly just to boost my self-esteem and stay in practice applying for high-end gallery jobs!). I´m also open to the idea that if I can´t find anything that feels right, I can continue my search after August and work temporarily at a fast food joint or supermarket. I keep swinging back and forth between the extremes of having VERY high hopes of finding something incredibly challenging and stimulating, pertaining to my degrees and qualifications, and the other part of me which throws up my hands without a care at all - being content in the thought of a low-stress simple job, just something to sustain myself and be somewhat productive. We´ll soon see. Wish me luck!

This has been a bit of a stressful week for me, and the rainy weather is kind of getting old. BUT, I do have good news about my garden snail dilemma (I know you´ve all been losing sleep over this, right?)! :) After losing a few precious plants to the malicious and greedy slugs and snails, I decided to follow the advice from a good friend (who happens to work as a gardener) and take some action beyond my failed collect-and-destroy method. Yesterday I sat and built some traps using old plastic laundry bottles, cutting holes in the sides for the snails to climb up into, and pouring in the secret bait. Apparently snails LOVE beer, which is lucky because I have several packs of Becks left from my host family´s garden party that I´ve been meaning to get rid of somehow. So I set 2 traps on each side of my garden last night, and found dozens of little drunkards floating in their beer graves this morning! I know they´re cute and all, but I never thought I could be so rejoiced to find those little corpses. My garden is saved! I still had to spend a few minutes collecting some of the resistant snails who decided to abstain from drinking last night, but it definitely made the job much easier than normal. I might build a couple more traps to see if it helps, but am a bit worried about what will happen when I run out of beer bait in a couple weeks. Could get expensive.

In other matters, I´ve been finding ways to practice my German more lately, which has been nice and is feeling a bit more natural to me now. We´ve been practicing for the exam (which I´m not taking) in class, and on Wednesday my teacher actually complimented me on a successful conversation I had to make in front of the whole class - intimidating but kind of satisfying to have survived despite the pressure. To celebrate I went out to the Irish pub (I know I should be experiencing German places, but the atmosphere is so relaxed and it has become a friendly local haunt of mine) with my classmate-friend Kristin. It is a nice quiet, chill place and every once in a while it is nice to go somewhere where we feel like we don´t have to justify ourselves, nor be embarrassed to speak English with each other. The owner, Harry, is a crass old man from Scotland who now knows me by name, tells me stories about Scotland and wars, and is trying to convince me to learn to play poker and darts. :) We chatted with a sailor from New Zealand, and an old couple from Norway (with whom Kristin could speak fluently as I listened with amusement and wonder at the beautiful and bizarre language). Somehow we were bribed to come back this weekend for karaoke, and enjoyed conversation with some German sailors last night amidst the karaoke wails. To my mortification, Harry called me up to sing - and with the whole room in quiet anticipation I had very little choice in the matter. Under pressure and without my safe Nancy Sinatra karaoke album, I quickly picked a simple Simon and Garfunkel tune and surprisingly had a lot of fun. The crowd, as usual, consisted of lots of men and women in their 60-70s, and a few sailors and card sharks, so there wasn´t any pressure or pretension. Later I was called up (again against my will) and the song was already playing - some Elvis song that I had never heard in my life! Somehow I improvised through it, and fortunately the came time for my train back to Bordesholm before I could be tricked into singing again. Despite being slightly mortified, we had a nice time and I think we might try doing karaoke more often now. But it does make me miss my karaoke nights at the Eagles lodge in Newton with Jacob, Kristin, modmates, and occasional Bethel faculty friends... :)

This week with the children has been nice. Wednesday afternoon Emma Sophie and I rode our bikes to a little beach at the Bordesholm lake. Even though the water is still freezing, we brought our swimsuits and waded in the water, splashed at ducks, and built sand fortresses. As both of the children now have Wednesdays free, I hope to start making lake trips part of our weekly routine. For some reason Friday Emmi was overwhelmingly sweet and curious. She started the morning with the blunt question "Kate-chen, why do all people have to die?" to which I hesitated and responded awkwardly with something about needing to make enough space for all the new babies who are born, so we don´t run out of resources and such. Then luckily the conversation shifted as she didn´t know the word "resources" and I focused on explaining what the term means. I thought I was off the hook, and then a few minutes later after brushing our teeth she absently patted my foot and asked "Kate-chen, why do I love you so much?" To this I had no answer at all, choking back a lump in the throat and gave the girl a delighted squeeze. I then taught her the phrase "peas in a pod," which she loved of course after all of our memorable table discussions about "shivering peas." Naturally, later that day she screamed fiery protests at me for not letting her eat more candy, claiming she hated me and threw an hour-long tantrum making a mess of her room. Oh these children... my biggest anxiety and greatest warmth.

I noticed on the train today that our raps (canola) fields are losing their vibrancy now. Last week I took a spectacular bike ride through some country paths, and was blown away by the beautiful yellow fields all around me. I still stick by my claim that nothing is more stunning than a golden Kansas wheat or crimson milo field just before harvest, but... this comes pretty close! The only thing I don´t like about the raps fields is the fact that we have to watch the blossoms die and colors fade back to green again before they are harvested.

Ugh, I´ve made a painfully long post again. I´ll never get better at this, will I? Sorry about that. I have goals to finally post more photos on my flickr page this week - be patient with me please. More Ireland and Spring photos to come soon!