Weihnachten

This is the poem that Paul Luis wrote for Christmas. Remember - this kid is barely seven years old! He typed it all by himself one morning, printed copies, illustrated them, and gave it to us for Christmas. Claudia and Torsten were awesome parents and memorized it to recite for the Weihnachtsman (Harry) when he came to give us our presents on Christmas Eve. I memorized "Liebe Gute Weihnachtsman" - a simple poem that most German children learn before they are three! I roughly tried to translate Paul Luis´ poem, which will follow his original... help me out, those of you who are better with German!! I still have much to learn! Clearly, the poem is best in German - with the original flow, rhyming and all, so try to read that one if you can! I am so impressed with this kid!

Weihnachten ist da,
Wir freuen uns, hurra.
Wir freue uns auf das Christ-Kid,
Weil wir weihnachtlich sind.

Di Geschenke kommen bald,
Vom Christ aus dem Wald.
Weihnachten rückt heran,
Weil Dezember schon begann.

Heiligabend kommt nun bald,
Munter und fröhlich aus dem Wald.
Siehe dort und siehe da,
Weihnachtsbaüme sind auch schon da.

Dort sind Geschenke zu kaufen,
Gegenüber ist Tee zu saufen,
Dort gibt es Weihnachtsbäume,
Dort sind schöne Räume.

Dort gibt es Zuckerwatte,
Dort gibt es eine Latte,
Dort gibt es Weihnachtsmützen,
Um vor Kälte sich zu schützen.

Dort gibt es gebrannte Mandeln zu essen,
Dort gibt es Süßigkeiten zu fressen,
Dort gibt es einen Weihnachtsmantel,
Dort gibt es eine Spieltarantel.

Dort gibt es Lebkuchenherze,
Dort gibt es weihnachtliche Scherze,
Dort gibt es Adventskalender,
Dort gibt es Kerzenständer.

Morgen kommt die acht,
Dort wird Kaffee gemacht,
Dort gibt es Wikingerhelme,
Dort gibt es kleine Schelme,

Dort gibt es eine Flinte,
Dort gibt es blaue Tinte,
Dort gibt es Weihnachtsschlitten.
Die unter Geschenken litten.

Nun ist Weihnachten schon da,
Wir Freuen uns
Hurra! Hurra! Hurra!
Weihnachten ist da.

Paul Luis Röhl
am: 07.12.2008,
um: 09:09 Uhr


Christmas is here,
We are pleased, hurra.
We look forward to the Christkind,
Because we are Christmassy.

With gifts coming soon
From a Christian from the forest.
Christmas grows near,
Since December has already started.

Christmas Eve comes soon,
Awake and cheerful from the forest.
See there and see there,
Christmas trees are already there.

There are gifts to buy,
Also, there is tea to drink,
There are Christmas trees,
There are beautiful spaces.

There is cotton candy,
There is a latte,
There are Christmas hats,
To protect themselves from the cold.

There are roasted almonds to eat,
There is candy to eat,
There is a Christmas coat,
There is a tarantula toy.

There are Gingerbread hearts,
There are Christmas jokes,
There is Advent,
There are candlesticks.

Tomorrow comes at eight,
There is coffee made
There are Viking helmets,
There is little mischief,

There is a shotgun,
There is blue ink,
There are Christmas sleds.
The gifts have suffered (?) (not sure how to translate this...).

Now Christmas is already here,
We are excited.
Hurra! Hurra! Hurra!
Christmas is here.

der Harz

dscn6926,
originally uploaded by katemaeda.

As most of you know, I spent my last week of Christmas holiday with my host family, plus Claudia´s mother Jutta and brother Harald in den Harz, a region of southern Germany with soft mountains containing cozy little hamlets. Perfect for Christmastime. I know I have said this before and failed, but I´ll try to give some proper descriptions of my week sometime soon. In the meantime, please follow the photo link to my flickr.com account and look through my pictures! I´m feeling a bit sick (thankfully now and not last week!), and am going to rest for a bit. I think you´ll appreciate my post about my trip more when I am feeling closer to 90%. I hope you´ve all had a fantastic Christmas, and wish you the best in the New Year!

Emma Sophie´s Art

Emma Sophie

marker and colored pencil

"Tsunami and Volcano destroy a village on a Sunny Day"






Emma Sophie

red colored pencil

"Kate"





























Emma Sophie

colored pencil and marker

"Three Volcanoes with Lava, One eaten by Tsunami"

Kansas Terror

I think Emma Sophie is terrified of Kansas. When I first arrived in the autumn, she wanted to know ALL about tornadoes and was VERY impressed that I have actually seen them. The subject kind of dropped, until today again. We were tying shoes (she´s finally started to master the bunny running around the tree bit), and she thought she saw a spider scuttle across the floor. It was actually some lint and hair, but a conversation starter nonetheless. She said there is only one dangerous spider in Germany, which has an X on the back. It isn´t poisonous, but the bite can hurt. In general, though, all spiders in this part of the country can be held in your hand. She asked if it was the same in Kansas, and I said no and told her about Black Widows and Brown Recluses. She was really excited about the violin design on the back, but horrified that they can hurt people so badly. The she asked about snakes, and again I said there are a couple varieties that we must beware of in Kansas ("Red and Black, poison lack, Red and Yellow, dangerous fellow, right?"). Plants? Well... yes, there is poison ivy, and other wild plants that might give rashes. She was shocked, and stated with confidence "Kate, you must feel VERY happy to be here in Germany where you are safe. It was so dangerous in Kansas!" I have never in my life considered Kansas to be a dangerous place! But when I thought of it from nature´s perspective, she does have a bit of a point. There is nothing to harm a person here in Northern Germany - no poisonous plants, spiders, or snakes, no bears, wolves, mountain lions, no hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes. A haven for people afraid of natural forces! I still think it is kind of hilarious, though, that Emmi thinks Kansas is so terrifying! I wonder what she´ll think if she visits someday! Funny kid. While she is so frequently the cause of my daily stresses, she is also a great source for silly stories. She´s very doomsday lately. She gave me the BEST drawing today of a volcano, with lava pouring over the houses. There is a giant blue ball that wraps over the top of the houses from the other side. She said that part is the tsunami. Oh Emmi...

Update: The kids have memorized "Twas the Night Before Christmas" up to the "the children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads" verse. Progress! Maybe they´ll have it by Christmas after all! Apparently the Christmas Man (probably Harry in costume) only gives presents to those who can recite a poem. Paul Luis has been helping me to learn "Liebe gute Weinachtsman" - a very simple poem that nearly every German child learns. Apparently Emmi could do it when she was two! It is coming along slowly but surely.

3rd Advent

Today at noon I went to Oma Jutta and Jurgen´s house with Claudia, Torsten, the kids, Harry, and his friend to make Christmas cookies. What is it about spending an afternoon with cookie cutters, flour, frosting, and sprinkles that is just so satisfying? We started with detailed shapes and designs, and things quickly became sillier. Torsten started making creepy finger cookies, Harry made a castle "gingerbread" house, Emmi made dozens of volcanoes (her new favorite thing) and I added a Christmas spider for good measure. Fun times! As they cooked, Jutta prepared a gorgeous spread of pretzels, almond-marzipan cakes, nuts, tea, coffee, kakao, and other goodies for us to enjoy in the living room. A nice way to relax this afternoon. Jutta tried to bargain with me so I could stay next year. They are making plans to go to Finland after I leave! No fair... No worries, though. I will be back in Kansas by then. In fact, I´m kicked out of the country in August. When I mentioned this, Jutta quickly replied that she could find someone to marry me for a visa, and then we could have him promptly disposed of. I never knew she was so cunning! It was a funny conversation.

Oh, another weekend so quickly passed. Just 5 more days, though, until Winter Holiday! We´ll head south to the Harz mountains to stay in a lodge, and go cross-country skiing if there is snow. With no snow, we´ll just sit around the fire and be lazy all week... both options sound okay to me!

I know...

I seriously fail at blogging. I promise to atone for it somehow. Perhaps I´ll write tonight. Or in a month. I think it will probably be the former (my attempt at self motivation...).

If you don´t hear from me for some time, please start pestering me. I really do want to keep this blog well updated, and will be disappointed in myself if I let it slip away. I can do this!!

But for a short blurb - I am alive and happy and well. Christmas holiday is in the air, and this makes me glad.

Turkey in Wuppertal

dscn6490,
originally uploaded by katemaeda.

This photo should take you to my Wuppertal Thanksgiving album on my flickr.com account. I´ll post an entry with details soon, but here is a brief. I left Wednesday by train for Wuppertal, where I spent 3 days with old college friends who are studying and working here in Germany (plus Brad from Ireland!) for an American Thanksgiving. It was incredible to see everybody, and it gave me such a renewed energy after feeling a bit isolated from things that used to be so familiar to me. I never dreamed I would be so lucky to see so many old friends at one time while here!!

- Again, if you click on this photo to go to my flickr.com account, I recommend looking at the second album on the right side of the page (Set) - it is the album below the Photostream album. My photostream is way disorganized, and you´ll never escape the confusion!! There are a few older sets and collections from this year, too. Enjoy! Expect another blog update from me soon, to summarize my awesome Wuppertal trip!

Bordesholm/Kiel - Nov 2008

dscn6420,
originally uploaded by katemaeda.

If you click on this photo, it should take you directly to my flickr account, where you´ll find more photos under the Bordesholm/Kiel set. There are also a few older sets from Bordesholm, Denmark, Kiel, and Berlin, as well as new Wuppertal Thanksgiving photos if you haven´t seen them yet! I´d recommend viewing them in sets, rather than as a photostream. My photostream is out of order, but I´ve spent the day organizing the sets and collections so they are fairly easy to follow. Enjoy!

"shivering"

Here´s a cute little Emma Sophie story for some cheer! The past few weeks Emmi´s favorite word is "shivering." One day after forest kindergarten her teeth were chattering, and I said "Oh Emma, are you shivering?" Ever since then she uses it every time she is the tiniest bit cold! "Kate, I am SHIVERING!" Anyways, I thought she completely understood the word, and was simply exaggerating with it. I was very wrong. A couple weeks ago I let her try a couple frozen peas as a snack, like Mom used to let us do (Torsten was there, and thought this was VERY unusual, but humored me and let her try it). Emmi loved them (I think against Torsten´s wishes!) and this morning at breakfast I told her I was going to the supermarket for some groceries. Her face lit up, and asked excitedly "Ooo - are you going to bring me some more shivering peas???" Adorable!! It took me a couple minutes to compose myself, then explain that if the peas were shivering, they would be shaking all over!! These are called frozen peas. I guess she thought that shivering simply meant that something was freezing!! A part of me is sad that I corrected her, because it was so darn cute. But that is part of my job... we can´t let her go through life calling everything in her freezer "shivering food." Well now, I´d better get some more cleaning done before the kids get home. I just thought you´d appreciate that little story!

it was supposed to snow

We were supposed to get snow yesterday and today, which made me super excited because apparently Bordesholm NEVER gets snow anymore (at least in the last few years). I guess this is still true. Nothing happened except some little ice pellets. Everywhere else in Germany has snow! My friend Anna said they had 14 cm, and it was still falling last night and looked like a winter wonderland. She made a snowman. I want that! Wouldn´t it have been such a fun weekend?? And last night the sky was so clear and beautiful - billions of stars. At least the air has that wintery snow smell. You know? That smell alone cheers me a bit. We have a slight chance for flurries Monday or Tuesday, but I´m not going to cross my fingers. It´s only November, there´s still time. We heard yesterday that the Harz (where we´re going for Christmas) had lots of snow already, and Torsten thinks it is a bad omen. Like they´re getting the perfect Christmas weather now, and when we go in December it will have passed and everything will be brown and ugly. I scolded him, and said that I´m going to stay optimistic. We WILL have a white Christmas!! I know I am a ridiculous little kid, but snow is a very big deal to me!! It is kind of my favorite thing.

Rhythms

Today was an excellent day, especially in relative terms. As some of you might know, I´ve been having a rough couple weeks. I won´t get into details, but I think I reached that 3 month panic of living a year abroad. A strong mix of homesickness with difficult children. But things are definitely looking up now. I have a new energy and perspective, and had quite a bit of fun with the children today. I also got off work early, about 3:30, so that always helps... :) I just realized that coincidently the things that have made me happiest in the last couple days have to do with rhythm. Kind of a cheesy way to connect things, but I´m going to go with it. :)

Rhythm #1:
The Little Drummer Girl: Emma Sophie is a drumming prodigy. She blows my mind! She mastered "basic" (I still can´t make them work, myself) drumming patterns on the electronic drum set after only a few days. She can do many combinations with the snare, bass, and other parts of the drum set that I´m too percussively (is this even a word?) illiterate to describe. And her tempo is dead on. She never loses that internal beat, which amazes me. Today Torsten started to teach her more complicated patterns, and she even played along to a rock song that he hooked up to the set with a flash drive. It is so awesome to see her intensity! I really think this might be Emmi´s thing. I have been so confused by this bright, emotional child. She is so vibrant, and so extreme. But she has showed little interest in learning to read, write, etc. I don´t like comparing children´s achievements, because I know that of course they are very different and that makes life beautiful. But I still think it is interesting to observe. Paul Luis was already reading at 4 - and almost completely taught himself. He has now only been 7 for a few days, and is reading thick chapter books. He should still be in 1st grade, but has skipped ahead 3 grades already. The brilliance of this child almost terrifies me. He loves all things science, has memorized all the flags of the world, and can do some complicated math problems already. Emmi is barely one year younger, and has shown no interest in these things. I have wondered if some of this contributes to her fits and drama. But now I wonder if her drama is just a big part of who she is. This is difficult for me, because those tantrums are impossible to deal with sometimes. But I´m trying to be more sensitive to her young developing personality. It has really been amazing to see her shine on those drums. It gives her something to be proud of, and we´re all completely blown away (with minor headaches, mind you).

Rhythm #2:
Twas the Night:
Claudia and Torsten have asked me to help teach the children a Christmas poem to recite on Christmas Eve. This is a very big German tradition, apparently, to memorize Christmas poems. I was excited be this challenge, but honestly the only American Christmas poem I know is "Twas the Night Before Christmas." I looked it up online, and was worried by how long it actually is. But I printed it and showed it to Torsten today. He thinks it might be difficult, but really liked the history of the poem, and its tradition in American households. So we´re going to try! I read it to the children, and they love it. Who knows - it might be possible. I memorized it when I was a child, and I think I remember hearing that Aunt Ann and Aunt Jane could recite it when they were only 3 and 4! So we´ll see how this goes. This challenge really excites me for some reason, though, and it will be nice to refresh my own memory. I only remember the first 3 verses. I´ve also started singing simple Christmas songs to Emmi and Tivan in the car during the mornings on the way to Forest Kindergarten. I´m pretty sure Tivan thinks I´m insane, but Emmi loves it and has almost memorized Jingle Bells, Let it Snow, Rudolph, and White Christmas.

Rhythm #3:
Moon Phases:
Today Emma Sophie was very excited to see the moon in the sky as we drove to Kindergarten. She asked why it was so small, and I had a difficult time explaining why there are different phases of the moon in a way that is simple enough for a 5 year old with limited English to understand. She doesn´t know yet that the moon is bright because of the sun´s reflection, and that it changes shape due to the position and shadow. I had no idea how to explain all this (while driving) without building a model or something, but gave it a valiant effort. But she caught on better than I expected, and even learned to say and apply the word "crescent." Success!

Rhythm #4:
Salsa:
I´ve started taking Salsa Dance lessons after my German course on Wednesday evenings. Random, eh? But it is about time I start actually getting out and doing things around here. My friend Hanna has gone a few times already with Manuel, a guy around our age from Spain in a more advanced German course. She asked if I was interested this week, and without blinking I said "absolutely." It makes a very late night for me on Wednesdays, but it is definitely worth it. We left class by foot around 8:15, and got terribly lost. Around 9:15 we were already late for the class, and Hanna had me hop onto the back of her bike (which she was walking with us) and we soared through the streets of Kiel for another half hour! I was in deep pain from my metal "seat" where the basket usually sits, but it was kind of fun! Like we were in an old movie. Finally we found the club (translated to "The Dream Factory") which is a disco of sorts in an old brick mill. It was really warm and relaxed. Manu wasn´t too upset that we were late, and I caught on to the basic steps surprisingly fast. I was worried that the class would be formally structured, but because it was in a disco-bar, people could choose whether they wanted to be on the dance floor or sitting or mingling at the tables or bar on the side of the room. Such fun! Though a bit humiliating to go through the apologetic routine of "I speak very little German... I have never Salsa danced before..." each time we changed partners! Oh well. People were generally friendly, and I was shocked when I looked at the clock and it was already 10:50. I ran as quickly as I could to the station, which is normally a 40 minute trip by foot. I barely caught the 11:20 train back to Bordesholm. Whew! There might have been another coming at 12:03, but it is rarely reliable. It was pouring rain when I walked from the station to the garden house, and didn´t get to bed until well past midnight. But I didn´t mind. I might not go to lessons every week, because it makes a very late night considering I work early on Thursday mornings. But I definitely don´t regret it, and hope to go again soon!

So... these are some recent details that contribute to the "rhythms" (I stretched this one too far, didn´t I?) of my own life. This post is a bit longer than intended, but it has been a while since I´ve talked about random things like this. I hope life is treating you all well. Expect to hear from me again soon!

Thoughts?

First, check out this article:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/arts_and_culture/7728117.stm


What a great idea for a fund-raiser! However, I can´t decide how I feel about the process of selling anonymous art, ending with the revelation of the artists´ names. At first I loved the idea, and part of me still does! Wouldn´t it be awesome to choose a piece of art simply because you like it, and know that it could have been made by a fisherman, telemarketer, struggling artist, or Yoko Ono? However, the fact that they reveal the names after the 40€ postcard purchases makes me feel uncomfortable. As if people are buying the postcards in hopes for a top-dollar name, rather than relishing in what the postcard itself has to offer as a piece of art. Don´t get me wrong - I would totally take part in this fundraiser - and if I found I had a piece by David Bailey or Nick Park, I would be thrilled (and would later sell it to Sotheby´s). But I also get exhausted by how important names and fame are in the art world - the very place where things like that shouldn´t matter so much. Or should it? Maybe I am not qualified to make that judgment. It just provoked my thoughts after my initial excitement, and now I´m not content with my own wishy-washy opinions. What do you think?

hot water plus bamboo = ....

Did anyone know that soaking large bamboo sticks in hot water makes it 500 times easier to saw little slits down the middle of each end? Why did no one tell me this? I´ve wasted hours of my life.

Dad and Paul Luis

Today is both my father and Paul Luis´ birthdays! A big day! For me, until about an hour ago, the day was committed to making Paul Luis´ day special. This morning I woke at 5:45 to go have an early birthday breakfast for Paul Luis. It was kind of adorable. Claudia had arranged a semi-circle of candies around his plate, bordered by a hand painted wooden train pulling seven numbered cars. There was also a birthday candelabra in the center of the table with seven candles, and another special candle holder that Sisko carved with Paul Luis´ name around the top. He opened all his presents that were "hidden" under the table, and we enjoyed our brötchen together - even as early as it was! By the time we finished breakfast, the run hadn´t even risen yet! It was a fairly relaxed morning, since Torsten was home and could help me get Emmi ready for Kindergarten. I sent the brownies with Paul Luis to school, and they were a hit! Success. For lunch I cooked hühnerfrikassee, his favorite meal, and then when Claudia came home we got ready for his afternoon family birthday party. Oma Jutta, Jurgen, and Opa Lothar arrived around 3:00 with homemade cakes, candies, and presents. We sat with our tea and food for hours, and then played with Legos upstairs at Paul Luis´ request. Emma Sophie was ridiculously grumpy, and threw some wild fits, but thankfully Claudia and Torsten were home to deal with it. I happily built a complex pirate ship with Paul Luis and Lothar in the attic, with Emma´s screams just a soft echo from downstairs. I kind of felt bad for Claudia and Torsten - nothing they tried with her seemed to be working. Though I think she was just tired from getting up so early this morning. At least this is what I´m hoping. Jutta and Jurgen left, and Lothar and I stayed for a light supper. When I left, I gave Paul Luis a giant birthday squeeze and said goodnight. Emma was still crying. I´m convincing myself that she´ll be cheerful and bright in the morning. Thursdays are usually the biggest day of the week for me. I got back to the gartenhaus around 8:00 this evening, and finally could call my dad to wish him a happy birthday! So nice to hear his voice again - I love that man! It sounds as if he finished harvesting just in time before the weather turned rainy. Whew! Now if only those milo prices would start to climb up again... he deserves the best!

The week of birthdays and illnesses

This week has been a strange mix of activity and recovery. Yesterday I knew it would be strange from the beginning. I woke to the sound of fierce winds and debris hitting the siding of my house. I started to doubt the safety of my little garden house - it is sturdy enough, but not exactly built like a fortress... Emma´s Kindergarten was moved from the forest to Birkenweg - the Communaler Kindergarten in town. Apparently they worry about branches falling on children on windy days. I never really thought of that, I guess...

The next paragraph I´m pasting from an email I sent to my Mom yesterday, because I´m lazy like that...

I skipped language class to go with the family to Opa Lothar (Claudia´s father)´s birthday at his friend Jurgen´s house in the evening. It was really confusing at first, because Oma Jutta´s husband´s name is also Jurgen. So when Claudia said they were going to Jurgen´s for Opa´s birthday, I thought they were talking about Claudia´s stepfather! I was so confused when we arrived at another random house! But it was a lot of fun. The house was beautiful - the old post and beam style with dark, solid paneling through weathered bricks. Love it. And all of Lothar´s friends were awesome - childhood friends from Bordesholm, all in their 70s. One of them, Ernst, was really small and grizzly with a very hairy sweater and crinkly eyes. He looked like some sort of kindhearted fisherman or bum - who you´d want to be your best friend! Or like he might be God in disguise, or something. Jurgen was very enthusiastic, and at one point during dessert ("nachtische" - literally means "after table") he was getting very animated during a debate, and kept pushing back his chair and standing - using all sorts of hand gestures and steps to make his point. It was incredible. Torsten took the children home early, and Claudia and I stayed a bit later. When we got into the car, Claudia sighed and said "I really love my father´s friends, but they make me so furious sometimes!!" Apparently they are "stuck in the old ways" and were talking about how women should stay in the home, and not get special education or occupational benefits, etc. Of course, with Claudia having a phD, and being both mother and scientist, she had to argue with them and stand her ground!! Poor thing. She seemed relieved to know I was on her side - too bad I couldn´t defend her when it mattered! She found it kind of amusing, though, too. Old men are funny. We then had a nice conversation about parenting and gender roles, fatherhood, etc. before I went to bed. I´m really glad I decided to go help her dad celebrate. I wasn´t planning on it, because I have to skip class Wednesday also for Paul Luis´ birthday! I am such a rebel... :) But I´m doing well in class - probably in the top 5, so I don´t think I really need to worry about it.

This morning I "woke" (I never really fell asleep all night) feeling very nauseous and scratchy. I was completely prepared to walk into the house and ask if I could sort of take it easy today. Instead I entered a house full of sleepless and sick people. Neither Torsten nor Claudia slept all night either, and felt to ill to even eat. Claudia still went to work, and Torsten decided to stay home sick. Between the two of us, I was in better condition than Torsten - so no break for me... I got Emma Sophie ready for school by some miracle - though we were late. It was by far the worst morning experience I have ever had with her, and not just because I was sick. She was an absolute terror in every form. Have you ever had to force clothes onto a squirming, kicking body who is screaming every insult imaginable at you? It is miserable. Especially knowing her dad could hear every bit of my failure... I literally had to carry her to the car while she was in hysterics. Ahh!! I seriously started crying, I felt so helpless (though thankfully she didn´t see me). When I came back I had a talk with Torsten about it. He said I´m doing a fine job with my balance of "discipline," but that they´ve been having lots of new problems lately with Emmi that they never experienced with Paul Luis. They can´t seem to decide which parenting method will be the best to handle it. He described all sorts of promising philosophies - I really am to the point where I don´t care what they choose to do. Just something! I can´t handle mornings like this every day... Basically, though, it is out of my hands. My job as an au pair is not to be her parent. I am just supposed to keep them safe and try to make it places on time if I can - and report to the parents at the end of the day how it went, so they can decide if they need to punish or chat with the kids. If I have to keep her home from Kindergarten sometime if she throws a fit and refuses to come to the car, so it goes. Not my problem. This concept is still really strange for me to get used to, but I´m glad we talked about it more today. Hopefully Torsten followed through and actually talked with Emmi about it. We´ll see how tomorrow goes. It is reassuring, at least, that they think I´m doing my job correctly. Even if it doesn´t always make sense to me!

This afternoon was much better, and I feel a bit more rested. I baked two pans of brownies to take with Paul Luis to school tomorrow for his birthday. I´d better go to bed soon. We´re meeting an extra hour early for his birthday breakfast in the morning to exchange gifts and things... we already wake long before the sun as it is!! It will be a big day. But the kid deserves to have fun. Sick or not sick, I´ll do my best to make the day special for him. Wish me (and the host parents) better health, please! I don´t have time for nausea and sniffles with no sleep... not this week!

baking with bows and arrows

Not completely true - I just wanted to get your attention. Following a busy week, Claudia called me Saturday morning to come over for breakfast. Even though I was tired, I gladly went because I like that they want me to be included. We spent breakfast describing the many details of Paul Luis´ birthday next week (which is, incidentally, the same day as my dad´s - November 12). I had no idea there were so many things necessary to plan a birthday! He wants me to cook brownies to bring to school on Wednesday, so his classmates can have an "American" snack. :) I´m strangely nervous about going with him to school to serve brownies and juice. What it the kids ask me questions and I sound like I´m crazy when I try to answer? Will Paul Luis be embarrassed by me if I fail? Claudia also asked if I could visit his English class sometime to talk about myself - again flattering, but uncomfortable! Who knows - it might be fun. I worry too much. His birthday party on Saturday will be at a theme park of sorts, where he will have an "Indian" party. I am supposed to organize some projects for the children, like making their own bows and arrows (without being lethal) and headbands with feathers. So I spent my Saturday riding my bike around town trying to find stores that might sell random craft supplies like bamboo sticks, nylon string, feathers, elastic bands, cork (for the "arrows"), etc. Normally these kind of projects excite me, but I was SOO tired and couldn´t convince myself to get into it - no matter how much I tried. I think it was probably because it was my Saturday, and I didn´t feel like I had time off. I also mended the waistband of Emmi´s long underwear that day, which slightly added to the feeling that my precious weekend was slipping away... I really do think I´ll enjoy myself when his birthday and party actually arrive. The boy only turns seven once a year, right? :) I am almost finished making his present - I hope he likes it! Last night my friends Anna and Hanna from Kiel came over to the garden house so we could have a "night in." They are also au pairs, and I think they enjoyed having a quiet place to relax without hearing children all weekend. Most au pairs don´t get a garden house to themselves - just a spare room in the main house. I had fun hosting them here. We went shopping for snacks, baked brownies (so I could practice for next week!), and watched a movie. We went to sleep quite early - it might have been before midnight, and had breakfast together when we woke this morning. It was such a nice visit! I took them to the station around noon, and now am trying to make the rest of my Sunday last as long as I can! Is there really any way to do that? I keep trying to do leisurely things like reading or writing, making tea, etc., but every time I look on the clock it seems to have jumped ahead at a very unnecessary pace! Doesn´t it understand? :)

Aw... I just heard a baby crying and looked out my window over the hedge. Our neighbors to the west are Claudia´s cousins, and they have two little girls, Viola (three - who plays with Emmi), and Luisa. Baby Luisa is all bundled up with massive clothing layers. She fell into a pile of leaves, and I think she couldn´t get up again! Her mom had to help. Such a cute scene - even with tears. Chubby bundled babies and leaf piles belong together.

I hope you are all having a fantastic weekend! I keep thinking about the beautiful red milo fields in Kansas now... wish my father a happy harvest!!

Redirect

In the "light" of other matters across the globe, my post yesterday feels falsely optimistic. Please check out friend Peter´s blog about the daily challenges he witnesses in Jerusalem - especially on our own election day. We all need to keep ourselves informed (at least I do!). It is so easy to sit from a comfortable distance and believe that we aren´t qualified to make changes. But we have to try!! Here´s to hoping that my words here can be more than just "talk," and that by keeping connections like Peter´s we can stay informed, interested, concerned, and most importantly - involved.

http://peterdavidmiller.blogspot.com/2008/11/no-we-cant.html

a day to remember

It´s Obama Day!! Now I know all my readers here have varying political ideologies and affiliations, so I´m not going to get into the nitty-gritty. But it is definitely an exciting day to be an American here in Germany. Torsten had the day off today, so he let me sleep in - knowing I´d be up all night checking the latest tally! When Paul Luis came home from school, he was also very excited about the election. They´ve been learning about it in school now for weeks. Isn´t it crazy that a 6 year old from another country knows almost as much about the election as I do?? They even practiced our electoral process, so they could understand the way our election works. We could learn a lot from this German world-view, I think! We all spent lunch talking about how now we just have to wait to see if Obama can handle the challenge set before him. There is much repair work to be done, and I just hope he has the spine to stick to the policies he promised... all we can do is wait and have faith. Mostly, I´m just proud to have been part of this moment in history - a movement that I think will come to define my own generation in decades and centuries to come. It also will help the rest of my year here in Germany! I chose the perfect time to come, didn´t I? So far I´ve generally had the impression that Germans WANT to like Americans again, but are still wary. Today definitely boosted their hopes - not just for repairing the U.S. and German friendship, but for the world. They know how powerful the U.S. is as a country, and if we have good leadership awesome things could spread like beacons. I found an article on CNN that discusses this matter more. It gives me great hope:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/11/05/germany.obama.reaction.pleitgen/index.html

Claudia asked if I could come over tonight after class for a while so we can chat about the election. She called me 1st thing this morning to make sure I knew the results! So cute. Well now, I´d better get some homework done before running to catch that train. I hope this day has reached you all in decent spirits - whether it be extreme excitement, hopeful resolve, or resignation. It will be a VERY interesting year - this is for sure!

panic!!

So I had a minor episode of anxiety today. Actually - it was kind of huge and terrifying. I was supposed to pick up Paul Luis from handball practice at 4:30. No problem, right? I had Emma Sophie in happy spirits, we got ready and leisurely pulled into the parking lot with the minivan at 4:23. When we got to the building, there was no Paul Luis in sight. In fact, his entire class wasn´t there! We ran around the gymnasium and track area, shouting "Paul Luis," and finally around 4:40 I started asking people if they knew where his class was. I was too frazzled to construct a sentence of sorts in German, so I took frantically asked "Sprechen Sie English?" until I found people who felt pity on me and tried to help. Sadly no one had any idea what I was talking about. Emma was dealing with all of this like a brave little toaster, quietly whispering "ow" into my arm when I accidentally squeezed her hand too tight without realizing it! Finally we got back into the car, and I decided to go back home and call Claudia at work... I dreaded that phone call ("um... I might have lost your child...") - but thought maybe she might know of another place in the neighborhood that they might have taken the handball class. In the safety of the car, Emma Sophie started to speak up - loudly! "He´s probably dead, Kate," "Maybe someone STOLE him!!" Not now, Emmi... I was trying so hard not to cry in front of her, but it was almost impossible. I was a nervous wreck of a human being!! We got to the house, and just as my tears and snot started to spill over I noticed his sport bag sitting by the front door. I shouted his name, ran upstairs, and he was quietly sitting at his desk doing homework. Apparently they got out of class early, so he decided to walk home when he couldn´t find our car there... AHH!!! I mean - I´m relieved everything turned out okay, but I just can´t deal with things like that!! I have rarely felt so terrified. One of my biggest fears of being an au pair is the possibility that something awful could happen to the children, and that I would feel responsible and never forgive myself. I had no idea I´d have a brush with that fear so early in the game!! But all is okay... for now. We had a little chat, and Paul Luis knows now to wait at the door of the gymnasium next time they finish early... To be honest, I am kind of irritated at his teacher for not sticking around until 4:30 to make sure all the parents picked up the children...
Now it all seems so silly, but I´m not well made for these kind of things. Let´s hope it doesn´t happen again.

A few other things have happened since last I wrote, but I´m getting sleepy. I just had to share that little episode while those feelings are all still raw!! Tomorrow will be a big day, but I think I´ll have a break Wednesday. Maybe I´ll catch up then.

"this is halloween, everybody make a scene"

I´ve had the lyrics from "This is Halloween" of the Nightmare before Christmas stuck in my head all day. But so far that is my only clue that today is Halloween. I haven´t seen a single costume, pumpkin, or anything all day to suggest today is different than any other day. But maybe it is just because it isn´t a big holiday for my host family. Paul Luis said he might dress up like a vampire for a bit tonight - but he´d just stay in and run around the house in costume for a bit. Emma said she is scared of Halloween, and didn´t want to talk about it any more. So... those are my clues to work with. Hmm....

Despite this, I am determined to find a few people who have some interest in Halloween - or at least are interested in it being a Friday night! I´ll take the 8:00 train to Kiel tonight to meet a couple friends, and we´re going to explore the city a bit and hope to see some celebrating in one form or another. Who knows. Most importantly, tomorrow is "Honky Tonk" night in Kiel! I have no idea what the German equivalent to Honky Tonk is, but I can´t wait to find out!

Today dozens of HUGE boxes arrived at the house. Torsten bought two electronic drum sets - one big one for himself, and a smaller one for the kids. It was like Christmas! I left this afternoon to the sounds of snares and symbols. It was fun, but I might start to develop a head ache after a few days! I´m surprisingly excited about these drum sets, though. I think I might try to learn something. I have the house to myself while the kids are at school, and I think I´d enjoy learning something without the intimidation of knowing people can hear me. I can even put on the headset to ensure that the neighbors don´t hear me! I might learn to play drums! Wouldn´t that be fantastic?

Ah... weekend. It could not have come at a more perfect time. Happy Halloween, my friends!

vowels

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7697000/7697762.stm

This is random, but I found this article today on BBC, and kind of like it. The concept is simple - some guy wrote some verses limiting each part to words that all share only one vowel (example: "drat that cat," or "sob no morn"). It has been harshly criticized, and to be honest I´m not entirely sure how I feel about the quality of writing, myself. But I really appreciate this work, because it makes me think about how we blend vowels together all the time to form our language in such powerful ways without even considering how it works. As a child (and still today) I always thought each vowel seemed to have its own personality. A´s were the bright and ambitious, E´s were more serene, mystical, and mellow, and so on. I´m not sure if this is because I associate certain words with these letters ("hush," "hum," and "curl" give off different feelings than "slip," "quit," or "wit") or if I visually apply their shapes to certain personalities (an "o" is more rounded and soft than the short and angular "i"). I´m sure there are all sorts of other factors I haven´t considered yet. I never claimed to be a poet or language critic.

Just some food for thought! Sorry to be so random.

If you want a "normal" update - my day was good. Paul Luis had a fever and stayed home from school, but we ended up having a really great day. I mean - I was sad that he was sick and all, but I really don´t get to spend much one-on-one time with him. We played with a Lego pirate ship, nibbled on stale pretzels, and drew some detailed diagrams of sharks and sting rays. When Emma Sophie came home, we ate some alphabet soup, drew some hand print turkeys, and played with the puppet theater again - this time adding some fancy lighting effects by drawing the blinds and switching on Paul Luis´ globe. Such a fun day! It was my longest day this week, but by far the most pleasant. Isn´t it strange how some days I can only work a couple hours and get so stressed, but then 10 hour days like today can at times be so enjoyable? It all depends on everyone´s moods... I can´t decide if this is a comforting or scary thought.

Mittwoch.

The week is half done now, and I must say things were really great today. Such a relief, because Monday and Tuesday were a bit miserable. The kids, for some reason, decided they didn´t like me very much, and found every possible way to let me know! But today we´re all friends again. We made puppets out of toilet paper rolls at the end of the day yesterday, and a theater out of a cardboard box with red tissue paper curtains (very fancy, let me tell you...). We did all this in the garden house work room while listening to my Nightmare Before Christmas CD, in proper Halloween spirit. Today we had the grand opening of our new creation, and performed a few plays. They started with Emma Sophie taking turns with the penguin, dragon, tiger, purple bird, frog, and a strange puppet with teeth-like marks around the top - Emmi says it is a castle... She hummed and "la la"'d some tunes, and let each puppet take a turn doing ballet and interpretive dance routines. I must say, the castle´s dance routine was my favorite! So cute. I like the way this girl´s mind works! When it was my turn, I acted out the story of Little Red Riding Hood using a penguin as Red, the purple bird as Grandmother, the tiger as Wolf, and the frog as Narrator/Woodsman. I changed the story so Grandma simply ran away from the wolf/tiger and hid in the forest, instead of being eaten and having the woodsman cut her out of the belly of the dead wolf. I wasn´t really sure how to stage that scene... tempting as it was. :) When I got to the end, the children informed me that the play was not complete without a song, and without using ALL the puppets. So I made up a scene where Grandma and Red received visits from their good friends Dragon and Castle, they ate some bread, and then Grandma got tired and made them leave so she could sleep. Red sang the Beatles´ "Here Comes the Sun" (it was the first song to come to mind...) to her Grandma until she fell asleep and had happy dreams.... The End. Paul Luis quickly grew bored and played with Legos, but Emmi was all about the puppet theater, and wanted to know EVERYTHING there is to know about it. I taught her the proper order of a curtain call, and the difference between a bow and curtsy (kind of difficult to distinguish with toilet paper roll puppets, but we made it work), and how to be a proper audience by hissing at the villain, to cheer "hooray" at the happy parts, and to say "bravo" as she clapped at the end and during curtain calls. We had a great time, and took several turns doing this with other childrens´ stories, like Hansel and Gretel, Thumbelina, and some story Emmi knows about a fairy ballerina named LillyFee. I think she could have done this for hours! I need to come up with some new stories now...

My German course in Kiel tonight was pretty good. My teacher said I am learning very quickly. I know I am doing well in comparison to the rest of the class (most of whom are in their 50-60s from non-romance language speaking countries like Russia, Kazakstan, Thailand, etc.), but I still feel like we are moving SO SLOW. At the same time, I feel like it is too late for me to jump over to the 2nd level class. They move so quickly, and I don´t think I would ever catch up with them. The thing is, most things we learn in my class really are new to me, so I don´t want to miss out on learning these important early parts of the language by skipping ahead. I just wish we could move faster! If only there was a class in between the two... Oh well. I guess I can do some studying and practicing on my own... but I´ve never really learned well that way. I doubt it will happen. I´ll just keep chugging along....

Speaking of, the train ride to Kiel tonight was beautiful. It was a bitterly cold day, and because the temperature dropped so quickly there was a very low fog. The sun hadn´t set yet, so I could see the fog looming above ponds and creeks, around haystacks, and in low dusky valleys between hills and hedges. I can´t even try to describe how beautiful and peaceful it all looked. Something about the very tight color palette of grays, greens, blues, and almost purple soil. The only sad part about this scene was how COLD it was when the sun set and I got off the train again! I had on my heaviest coat, scarf, gloves, and hat, and was still freezing! It isn´t even November yet! I am going to be a sad frozen thing in a couple months... at least it is beautiful this time of year. I might not survive, otherwise!

Sunday #10

I was just glancing at the calendar (to see which day of the week Halloween will be), and realized I have seen 10 Sundays now here in Germany. I can´t decide if that sounds longer or shorter than I expected. Summer holiday (which sort of marks the end of my term here) will begin July 20, 2009. If I did my math correctly, that is in about 38 weeks, or something like that. I´m already over 1/4 there! That sounds not bad at all. I can do what I just did three more times... but then I think about 38 WEEKS - and it seems like a very long time. Especially when I think of spending every holiday away from home. Those are going to be difficult times. Not to mention the slow and painful months of January and February.

I also feel like I´m looking at all this with the wrong perspective. A part of me is also starting to panic that I have already spent 1/4 of my year, and there is still so much that I want to do, see, and learn while I´m here! I had a great day yesterday in Kiel with a couple new friends, and we talked about all the places we´d like to visit before leaving Germany. Copenhagen, Hamburg, Ireland... are will really going to be able to squeeze these things in before we go? I have hopes, but have even more doubts. It is difficult to work out time off with host families. The only vacation weeks I have left are two during Christmas, and one for Easter. I´ll be spending Christmas with the family here, and I still am not sure what I´ll be doing for Easter. That doesn´t give me much to work with. It is frustrating, because it is so cheap to fly to Ireland, Sweden, etc. with things like RyanAir, and I feel like I should take advantage of that while I am here. But those are the kind of trips that I can´t just pack into a weekend. I guess I´m starting to realize that being an au pair is not just a free way to travel around Europe. I knew this already, but I think a part of me still felt like it would be easier to get around while I was here. Maybe if I save enough money and if I don´t have any immediate commitments, I can do some traveling after my term ends in July. This is difficult for me to imagine now, because I think I´ll be so anxious to get back to Kansas at that point!! But maybe by then I´ll feel more at ease, and being a vagabond for a couple weeks will sound just fine.

In any case, time is steadily ticking here, and I think it is time for me to start making some efforts to plan my next year. Especially since I am abroad now, and can´t really do proper applications and interviews. I´ll have to rely almost 100% on the internet for this. That makes me so nervous. Call me old fashioned, but I really like to be able to meet employers in person before signing on to something. Eek! And the job search begins... Wish me luck!

work visa

Today Torsten drove Emma Sophie and me to Rendsburg to get my German work visa so I can stay the year as an au pair. For some reason I was terrified that something would go wrong, and I´d be promptly kicked out of the country. But the process was remarkably simple, and the agent hardly even spoke to me, until the end. He looked at me and rambled quickly and quietly in German for a couple minutes, then asked if I understood. I paused and smiled with a confident "ja", and we parted ways. Torsten said the man was talking so fast that even he could hardly understand what he said, and that I gave a convincing act! We had a good laugh about it. Now I have two large and important-looking work visa stickers in my passport! I love it. After I became an official German resident, we walked around the historic center of Rendsburg to find a music store. It is such a beautiful little town! Very intimate and cozy architecture, complete with an old street performer with stuffed monkeys on his music box. We spent about an hour at the music store testing out an electronic drum set that Torsten wants to buy the children for Christmas (I think he just wants one for himself...). It is really great, though, because with the headset they sound surprisingly authentic, and without so much ear damage. The volume control is what they were most concerned about. Torsten has some ear problems after years of percussion, but they still want to find a way to keep the beat going in their house. I´m kind of excited. I want to learn, too! I might practice while the children are at school in the mornings. Emma looked so awesome sitting at the drum set, pounding her heart away and swinging her hair like a true rocker. When we came back to Bordesholm for lunch, Paul Luis returned from his play date at Xaver´s and we had a chill afternoon. It was nice that Torsten was there so I could do some grocery shopping and finish laundry. With music still on mind, he loaned me some CDs - it was funny, but thoughtful. Now I have the late afternoon, evening, and tomorrow morning off. I´m going to take full advantage and enjoy this break while it exists. The family keeps making references to next week as if I should be in mortal fear... but I decided not to panic until it reaches me Monday. There is nothing I can do about it now, so I´ll keep living in my carefree delusion while I still can!

Side note. My mom´s birthday is tomorrow. About 37... right, Mom? :) That´s what I thought. I hope you have a fantastic day! Wish I could be there to make a pumpkin pie and sing "happy birthday." A phone will have to do. If anybody sees her soon - give the woman a big hug and juicy kiss for me! She deserves the best!

success!

Today I completed my first entire phone conversation using only German. I couldn´t believe it! So far, when I answer the Röhl´s phone I typically start out trying to speak German, but after a couple "wie bitte?"´s, "tut mir leid"´s, and finally a humiliating "...ich spreche wenig deutsch..." the person on the other line switches to English so we can continue. But today somehow I managed to explain that no, Frau Röhl wasn´t there, and when they asked if she´d be home in the evening I replied that it would probably be very late, at least 21:00. All in German! We said goodbyes, and I was in shock. Did that just happen? True, I don´t think I ever formed real sentences, just broken fragments. I had to ask them to repeat a couple things, and I am 100% sure they could tell I was from the U.S. But even so, I was so elated. I also filled the car with diesel for the 1st time today, without any problems. I don´t know why I thought it would be any more difficult than it was in KS, but I imagined terrible things happening! Small triumphs like this help me breathe. Things really will become more natural someday...

Now I have the afternoon off. Oh, how I love Oma Jutta for wanting to spend time with her grandchildren... I think I´ll take the bike to the post and bank, then ride into the country until I get tired. I borrowed "The Dead Poet´s Society" DVD from the library, and I am looking forward to crashing in front of the film later with some sesame pretzels and nutella, and loudly sobbing without shame at the sad ending. It will be a good day.

Laterne, laterne...

Sunday night I was clicking away at this computer as usual, when I was interrupted by a steady thumping of drums outside my window. I ignored it for a couple minutes, then noticed an orange flickering light reflecting against the wall. I turned and went to my east window, to see hundreds of people with torches, instruments, and lanterns parading down my street in the dark! It was quite a sight to behold, and I wasn´t sure how to react. The date was Oct. 19 - I couldn´t figure out what the special occasion might be. I opened my window wide open, even though it was freezing outside, and watched the spectacle for a while. I heard people and children singing and chanting "laterne, laterne." Determined to figure out what was behind this bizarre parade, I grabbed my scarf and wool coat and ran outside. I crawled through the hedges behind the garden house to get to the alley and street, rather than walking past the main Röhl house and triggering the bright security lights, waking the family for sure. Not sure what else to do, I simply joined the crowd when I got to the street and started walking through and around the groups of people. I´m pretty sure I didn´t blend in at all, as I was walking in a confused stagger through the masses, turning to look all around me - sometimes dropping back, other times darting ahead while everyone else moved at a steady pace around the spinning lost dog that I was. Most were families, with the children carrying homemade lanterns and singing, while the adults carried tall flaming torches. We walked for several blocks, making a few turns along the way. I kept hoping we´d arrive at a final destination of sorts, to clue me in to the source of this night parade. A park, school, church, cemetary... something! But soon it seemed that the end was not as near as I´d hoped, and I was afraid I´d forget my way back home in the dark. So I dropped back, watched the people and lights move on ahead around the next bend, then turned around and walked back home to go to bed. The next day I asked Torsten about it, and he said they have Laterne parades several times a year, and he was sad that they missed this one. I didn´t ask much more about it, but looked online. It seems that there are usually Laterne parades on Nov. 11 to celebrate a saint or something, but I never saw anything about October. Maybe we´re just extra enthusiastic here in Bordesholm about our lanterns and fire! Whatever the case, it made my night interesting, and I can´t wait for the next one!

The past couple days have not been as stressful as I feared, having the children all day long rather than enjoying a morning by myself to get some things done and rest a bit when they normally would be at school. Claudia and Torsten went back to work this week, but Paul Luis and Emma Sophie are still on holiday from school - which means my holiday is definitely over. But in a way it is nice in the mornings to let them sleep in, eat late breakfasts, and not have to worry about getting them to school and Kindergarten on time. Honestly, that has been my biggest stress and point of conflict with the children - getting them places on time. They simply never want to get ready to go when it is time. But when we have nothing on our schedules but eating, playing, and tidying a bit, we have few points of conflict! I did have a minor moment of trauma today when the children wanted to tie me to my chair at lunch. I think they were just being silly, not trying to be mean - but things like that make me panic! What if I couldn´t get back out? But it all turned out okay. Paul Luis had a playdate with his friend Bjerne after lunch, so I had some leverage. If they didn´t untie me, Paul Luis couldn´t play with his friend - simple as that! If only I were always so lucky... :)

I think Oma Jutta might take the children for a bit tomorrow, which might be nice. I´d like to go on a bike ride or walk during the afternoon so I can enjoy the beautiful autumn colors while I still can! The leaf piles are getting taller, and trees thinner every day...

a week´s sum

I´ll try to sum up the week without writing a painful novel. We´ll see how this goes. Last Saturday we somehow managed to cram all of our luggage, food, games, plus Oma Jutta and her belongings into the family car. The trek to Denmark was long, because nearly EVERY German was also spending their holiday in Denmark. The autobahn was crazy, so we took little side roads. I actually preferred this, because the scenery of the countryside was breathtaking. Beautiful little farms and soon the dunes started to cleft the landscape as we neared the North Sea. The house Jutta rented was perfect. Big and spacious, with lots of windows, and nestled right against a tall dune with our own private path to the top and down to the beach below. My first time climbing up the dune, I was pleasantly surprised that I could smell and hear the sea before I could see it. As we reached the top, our faces were blasted by crisp, salty wind. It was dusk, and there was something so powerful about the fierce, crashing waves below us. All the mystical blues and greys, with white crests. Indescribably invigorating too all the senses. The healthy sea air easily forced its way into my lungs, and made me feel so alive. I can´t quite explain it. The dune then became a sharp cliff of sorts down to the beach, but the sand was so soft that we could go ahead and run down nearly in a free fall without injury.

The house itself was enough to keep us content for the week. It was so spacious, with a full kitchen, living room, bedrooms, indoor pool, whirlpool, sauna, 2 bathrooms, and billiards room. There was a wooden porch that wrapped all around the house, and several doors with immediate access from the house to the deck. I slept in a loft above the kitchen and living room area, which was a charming space, but unfortunate in the mornings. The children rose around 6am every day, and I always woke when they did. They play so loudly! The first morning I got out of bed, and took a walk to the sea before sunrise - which was beautiful. No regrets. But the next day I fortunately found my earplugs, and was able to sleep in until at least 8:00 for the rest of the week!

I have never before been on a vacation in which I didn´t have at least tentative plans scheduled for every day. It was unusual for me to get used to the idea of waking every day with only meals on the schedule. Even the meals were flexible. Jutta was a goddess of the kitchen, and had a constant supply of apple cakes, soups, breads, cheeses, homemade marmalades, and fresh vegetables from her garden on the table at all times. It was awesome. I spent the mornings and afternoons often taking walks on the beach either by myself or with Claudia´s sister Maggi and her husband Sisko. Afternoons I sometimes played with the children at the beach, building sand labyrinths, tide pools, and flying kites. I learned to fly a big kite with two strings. I even learned how to make it go in loops and to dart across. Definitely had a "Kite Runner" moment with a phenomenal kid near me - he won...

I became an avid stone and shell collector this week. I´ve always quietly laughed to myself at people who collect stones. I´m not sure why - I just thought it was kind of ridiculous. But now I am obsessed with it. At first I was only searching for amber, which supposedly washes up with seaweed after storms. But soon I would spend hours wandering along the water, picking up only the smoothest and most colorful of stones. All shapes and sizes. There were some that I would hold in my hand for several minutes, not being quite sure if I should keep them or not. Some were gorgeous, but not polished enough. I felt like I was picking a flower too soon, before it could reach its potential beauty. They weren´t finished yet. I threw many back into the sea and would miss them, but was satisfied to know that someday, whether they ended up at the bottom of the sea, in someone else´s hand, or being dissolved into sand, they will have at some point reached their peak. It was shocking how attached I often became to these stones. Sometimes the wind would blow the sand away around the stones, so they looked like little jewels atop a pedestal. Almost as if the sand was stretching out an arm to present me with only the choicest of stones. I know, I know. You´re thinking, "Oh, Kate... bonding with rocks? Sand with arms? She went to Denmark and now she´s gone over the deep end..." Which might be true. But you try spending a week at the sea with nothing else to fill your day but looking at stones and listening to waves, and see if you don´t go a little crazy too... :)

We did find other ways to pass time, too. Sisko arranged a billiards tournament, and we played a few games. I read A LOT, which was very satisfying. Sometimes we lounged outside, if the weather was nice. I read "Life of Pi" for the 2nd time, almost finished "Cold Mountain," and started "Frankenstein (which I´ve never read, for some reason)." I need some new books now, but there aren´t many choices in English at the Bordesholm library. I might have to re-read another one. Claudia brought her guitar, and Maggi her wooden recorder, so we spent several evenings listening to them play music and sometimes singing along and adding percussion. Torsten started to teach Paul Luis, Emmi, and myself how to play drums. I´m not very good, but it is fun to learn something new!

All in all it was a fantastic week. Sometimes I felt uncomfortable with being "off duty." I couldn´t tell if I should do something by myself, or help with the children a bit. After all, it was a free vacation for me. I made a couple crafts with them, and swam sometimes. Mostly it was a relief, though, to not have to be the enforcer when the children were misbehaving. :) I really enjoyed getting to know Claudia´s sister Maggi, and hope we can see her again soon. Sadly they live in Southern Germany, and will be spending Christmas with Sisko´s family. Not sure how long it will be before we can see them. Maybe I´ll just go visit sometime on my own!

Well now, this is getting too long, isn´t it? I have to work again tomorrow!! Ah! This week will be strange, because Paul Luis doesn´t have school, and Emmi might skip some days of Kindergarten. Claudia and Torsten are still working all day at least until Wednesday, so I will have some full days with the children! No morning breaks! Ah! How will I do laundry, cook, and keep things tidy? The anxiety!! But I think it will be all right. We´ll arrange some playdates. And I think Jutta might take the children sometime later in the week, which would be very helpful. We´ll see! It was nice to have today to relax, though, and to finish unpacking. I took a long bike ride in the countryside and along the edge of the forest. Nice see some cows and fields again, and the autumn trees in Germany are so beautiful!!

Flickr

dscn5933,
originally uploaded by katemaeda.

I have a few photos downloaded onto Flickr.com, and I´m too lazy to transfer them all to my blog or Facebook right now...

I think if you click on this photo, it should take you to the rest of the photos on Flickr. In case it doesn´t work, though, just go to:

www.flickr.com

(or more specifically:)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/30265955@N07/

and search for my member profile, katemaeda for the photostream. I´d recommend clicking on the Denmark set to the right of the page, to keep it simple.


For some reason not all the photos made it onto the page, so I need to try to complete the album later. For now, enjoy the few that have made it so far!

Early to bed.

She´s back! And she´s exhausted. Yes... exhausted after a week of absolute relaxation. Crazy, isn´t it? But I´ll sleep now, and then give a proper update sometime tomorrow. I´m so glad to have a Sunday before starting the next week. But in case you´re anxious - the holiday was a success. Denmark is stunning with its rolling dunes and diverse vegetation, and the fierce sea wind made me feel so alive.

On a sad note it appears I´m having camera issues again... nothing will transfer to the computer through the USB, even though they are definitely on the memory card. Punching the camera didn´t work this time. Who knows how long it will take to post photos...

Holiday

We leave in just a couple hours for our fall holiday in Denmark. Claudia´s whole family will meet us there (except Harry, who sadly starts classes next week for his art program). I really have no idea what to expect from the week, so I´ll just give a report when I return, rather than trying to guess and describe it now. Basically all I know is that Oma Jutta rents a house at the sea... and there is a sand dune? The families take turns cooking, games are played, fires and music made, etc. I´ll probably read a lot of books. Should be a great week! But you probably won´t be hearing from me again until the 19th or so.

Until then, stay healthy and have a fantastic week!
Peace, Kate

better evening

Just so you aren´t all worrying about me, I thought I´d let you know that things are already looking up. While I was a bit miserable with a stuffy nose and watery eyes (I will be so happy when I stop catching every cold that passes my way) all afternoon, I did have a bit of quality time with the children. I taught them how to make their own books - nothing too impressive, just folding a few pieces of paper together, stapling them, and then writing and illustrating some stories. Mine was about a kangaroo, Paul Luis´ was a detective mystery, and I think Emmi´s was a picture book about going on a family trip to Denmark (wonder what gave her that idea!).

When Claudia and Torsten came home, I had supper ready and they had very positive things to say. They were impressed by how nice it all looked. You know me... I can´t just toss some bread and cheese into a basket - I have to "arrange" them. They also loved my leftover couscous with a meat/carrot cream sauce, which made me happy because the children hated it at noon. Claudia apologized for the stressful morning, and best of all - Torsten fixed my heater! My radiators are sending warm air into my frozen little house, and I am starting to feel my fingers and toes again! My survivor igloo adventure is coming to an end, it seems. Perfect timing, too - since I want to get over this cold before holiday.

Fall Holiday is in only 3 days! I am so excited. I leave on Saturday with the entire Röhl family here to go to Denmark for a long week and weekend. Apparently there is a house at the sea that they rent, and it has a beach, sand dune, private pool, sounds like heaven to me! I´m mostly excited to just relax and spend some "off duty" time with the family and children. I´m also looking forward to getting to know Claudia´s family better - her mother, sister, brother, and their spouses. Hooray for taking holidays - the Europeans really have this part figured out. Everyone is so much more productive if they let themselves take breaks. I could get used to this lifestyle...

Thanks for all your warm wishes!

crummy morning

Sorry to be a downer, but I´m going to be honest. Things aren´t peaches and cream here all the time. Today is just one of those days. I´m just really frustrated with myself because even after more than 6 weeks of the same routine I feel like I still get so many things wrong. I know that the Röhls think I am doing well, and I am so lucky to have them in return. But even so, I feel like every time I see Torsten or Claudia they have something to tell me that I haven´t been doing right. Every time I go grocery shopping, it seems, I´ve bought the wrong brand of something, too much bread, not enough milk, etc. And I know it is important for them to tell me these things so I learn, but it also gets very frustrating after a while. Especially for someone like myself who sometimes suffers from an inadequate self-esteem. Yesterday Emmi had a play date with her cousin Viola, and I didn´t bring Viola back to her house soon enough for Claudia to pick up Paul Luis from handball on time before I left for my class. Bad planning on my part, and it sort of made me feel crummy all evening. Torsten said to be there at 7:15 this morning, so I showed up promptly. Turns out he meant he had to leave at 7:15, and they were all stressed and running out the door. Then Claudia said I should have hung the laundry to dry outside yesterday while the weather was nice, instead of inside. Again, mistakes on my part. I really do want them to tell me these things so I learn, but it is all piling up. I feel like after 6 weeks they shouldn´t have to tell me some of these things anymore, and I worry that they might think I am catching on too slowly. I´m sure I´m being too hard on myself. Let´s face it - it´s what I do best. They have told me many positive things lately too, and I know I´m trying my hardest. I´m really so lucky to have the Röhls, and they have told me the same before (though not during the last couple days!). But there are just so many little details to remember, and I´m beginning to wonder if I´ll ever get it right! I think I´m just extra pessimistic this morning because I´m tired, cold, and my nose is stuffy. Emmi threw a tantrum after her parents left so quickly, and I barely could convince her to go to Kindergarten. It is a miracle that I can ever get that child to go anywhere!! Hopefully I´m learning, though, even if I can´t really tell right now.

I´ll have a more cheery post soon - I promise! It´s just one of those days...

she paints

I´ve started painting again. It is strange, to start painting in a new place after spending four years in the same corner of the art lab at Bethel. I need to adjust to the new setting, and figure out what direction I actually want to take. You´d think that after 6 weeks I would be bursting with fresh ideas! Not quite. At least I wasn´t yesterday when I tried to get started. I´ve been in such a bubble lately that it is difficult to know what I want to explore. I´m also using acrylics, since the garden house is so open and I don´t want to breathe oil paint and turpentine fumes in my sleep. So I´m also adjusting to a medium that once was familiar, but I´ve hardly touched in the past few years. We´ll see what happens! Wish me luck. If nothing else, it is good to have something else with which to fill my time, aside from facebook, blogging, reading, writing, and watching German TV.

This has been a very tame and relaxed weekend. There was no work or school in Germany on Friday for the national holiday, so I had that day off. I went shopping in Kiel yesterday to buy a good quality rain jacket, and also ended up buying paints and trekking shoes... too much money for one day. They were necessary investments, but yikes!! No more, Kate, no more! It is Sunday now. I had brunch with the family, and now the rest of the day to fill. I wanted to go biking, but it is cold and rainy again. Bleh.

as promised.